A Terrorist’s Christmas
Loading ...Twas the night before Christmas and in the MidEast,
all of the fighting had temporarily ceased.
Some infidels were hung on a wall outside as a dare,
In hopes that the rest of the world would care.
The terrorists were squeezed all tight in their beds,
While visions of sixty virgins danced in their heads.
And I in my Burka, and Ahmed in Muslim attire,
Had just laid down our rifles for a cease fire.
When further out in the desert there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Outside my window I saw a great flash,
I quickly tore open my weapons cache.
The moon outside shone with a bright view,
and I knew my aim would be straight and true.
When, what to my bewildered eyes should I see,
But a battalion of tanks and the entire US Army!
With a stocky old general, so brazen and skilled,
I knew my comrades and I were about to be killed.
More rapid than panzers his tanks they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
“Now Smasher! now, Thrasher! now, Slayer and Killer!
On, Blister! On, Twister! on Gunner and Thriller!
To the top of that dune! To the top of that wall!
Now blast away! Blast away! Blast away all!
And then in a panic I heard overhead,
The rolling and wheeling of each giant tread.
As I clutched my rifle and made no sound,
Down the foxhole a soldier fired a round.
He was dressed all in camo, from his head to his feet,
And his uniform was ironed, tidy, and neat.
A bundle of grenades he had flung on his back,
And he looked the leader of the attack.
His eyes-how they darkened! his teeth how they gnashed!
His breathing came quickly, as down he crashed.
He quickly raised his rifle into the darkness of the room,
This underground bunker was about to become my tomb.
I crept behind a table and observed him from my niche,
I could tell by his size and posture that he wasn’t no bitch!
He had broad muscular shoulders and nearly no neck,
As far as I could tell, but I didn’t have much time to check.
He was massive and muscular, a right angry old vet,
And I cringed when I saw him, my pants now wet.
A swing of his arm as he fired off lead,
Soon made me realize I was about to be dead.
He spoke not a word, but fired off automatic round after round,
And filled the bunker with whizzing bullets as we hit the ground.
And resting only a moment when his rifle did jam,
He dropped some grenades and left with a BAM!
He sprang up the foxhole, to his unit gave an “All Clear”
And away they all drove as I shook in utter fear.
My comrades were all dead, and the bunker was destroyed.
I pissed my Burka so many times I was rather annoyed.
I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
“That was for Sept 11, 2001. Have a nice night!”
January 10th, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Awesome! The best Christmas present ever =)
Bismarck96: Sorry I just posted this, I didn’t see it pending until now